Other People’s Anger

Art and photo by author, Jenny Lane. This is a heart I made in welding class.

Okay, so one of the things I wanted to write about today is dealing with other people’s anger.

There’s an often misattributed quote which is not actually Buddha’s but speaks a great truth:

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; but you are the one who gets burned.

This also goes for other people’s hot coals. They are not mine to hold.

Another thing I’m still working through.

When people are feeling sad, I can certainly handle that. But when people are feeling upset, frustration tipping into anger, outward or inner anger, I -like most people in the world, (well, some get their jollies off making people mad) really don’t enjoy the sensation of someone else being angry.

Especially, if I have made the mistake and are the cause of them being upset.

Thankfully, I no longer get defensive or explosive, my reaction to anger has transformed over the past decade.

It’s taken me quite the many years to learn how to be okay being wrong, or just “eating it” in times where adding to the escalation is counterproductive.